How or in what way do I experience myself when I’m alone?
Reruns, reading, and rest.
I’m an unapologetic extrovert but I do like my alone time. I don’t get much of it, admittedly. Work, children, marriage, and life in general makes those solo dates a little harder to schedule, which makes the rare alone experiences even more special.
But TBCFH, the enjoyable ways in which I experience myself aren’t all that glamorous. Example: I love to have episodes of my favorite shows running in the background when I work from home or decide to take a personal day from the gig. I like the way I feel when I’m entertained, a light humored air overcomes me, and shows like Sex and The City, The Sopranos, Punky Brewster, and Three’s Company place me in that aesthetic.
It’s no secret: books are pretty much my life, y’all. Writer, librarian, bookworm, book hoarder. I’m not faithful to books, either. I currently have seven books in rotation on my couch – and those are just the hardcovers. During the pandemic (which we’re still in FYI so wear a mask m’kay?), I’ve had orders from my favorite local bookshops delivered and curbsided which only feeds my addiction. So alone time gives me the space to get into my plentiful bookstacks sprinkled around my house. My genres? I’m pretty heavy into bios right now; now that I’m in my forties, more celebs from my generation are dropping memoirs and I am here for it. I also have some serious young adult novels and manga books in the mix for some variety. I could and have spent 18+ hours reading and experience a a sweet delirium that only books can provide.
The alone time experience I could use more of in my life, I’m learning, is slowing down. I’ve been making it a habit in recent weeks to repeat to myself a mantra that came to me in meditation earlier this month: I deserve rest. It reminds me that experiencing myself wholly and fully involves recharge. As hard as it is to tear myself away from a Living Single marathon or the latest Gen X memoir du jour, I’m learning to remind myself that I deserve to just lay and be still…and if I happen to dose off, so be it.
Thanks for reading.
More tomorrow. Bye.