You ever find yourself engaging in a conversation solely to get the juice on someone?
I think this is called ‘gossiping’ and goes against one of the eight limbs of yoga. Nonetheless, committed yogi that I am, I still found myself engrossed in the tea earlier this week. I was in the DMs (where most self-serving conversations happen) with a friend, chatting about the rather eventful love life of someone we both knew. I was about fifteen minutes into the pettiness when I felt something light up in me: my ego.
Ugh. Hate that.
When the conversation ended, I still felt that ‘light’ for about five more minutes before it transformed into a heavy weight in the pit of my stomach. My judgment had been turned TF up and I had gained nothing from it but a few giggles. Ego is tricky in that way, though: it makes us think that we’re being entertained when we’re really just being drained.
Your #YogaEveryDamnWeek-ly Mantra:
My ego is not invited.
This week’s mantra is definitely one I could have used while being messy in the DMs. After all, I knowingly engaged in a dialogue that was meant to be divisive and mean spirited. In short, I invited my ego to the party. We all have been there and will be there again, because to err is human – and I err often on the journey out of judgment. Luckily, I’ve developed three quick and easy ways to un-invite my ego to the party before the festivities (aka ‘the conversation’) begins:
- Clear Your Mind: If you know you’re about to engage in a conversation that can go from sincere to ‘spill the tea’ in a matter of minutes, take a beat to clear your mind. Yoga, journal, meditate, go for a walk, take a nap – do whatever is most accessible to you to find peace before you get to bumping the gums (or the thumbs!).
- Acknowledge Your Ego with Love: When we understand that ego exists to protect us, we can better discern when we need it to show up. Ego showing up as fear when we’re walking down a dark alley alone is more welcome that it showing up as slander meant to break someone down. So when your ego comes through in a situation similar to the latter, see it and let it know its services aren’t needed.
- Decline the Dialogue: Some days, we are no match against our egos. When you know there’s no way you’ll be able to engage a conversation without getting a little petty, it’s totally fine to take a raincheck. Come back to the conversation when you are more grounded and less gossipy.
She’s Busy: My Weekly Rundown
Here’s where you can catch me this week – on and offline:
- Business PM at Farmers State Bank (Thursday 10/27)
- In addition to being a librarian, a writer, and a yogi, I’m also an Ambassador for my city’s local chamber. If you’re a professional in the area looking for a free networking opportunity, you can catch me at the chamber’s next Business PM – register here for more details!
- In addition to being a librarian, a writer, and a yogi, I’m also an Ambassador for my city’s local chamber. If you’re a professional in the area looking for a free networking opportunity, you can catch me at the chamber’s next Business PM – register here for more details!
- iBlackCaucus Launch Day (Friday 10/28)
- This summer, I was one of 26 librarians selected by the Black Caucus of the American Library Association (BCALA) to represent their Breaking Barriers program at ALA’s national conference. The culmination of that effort happens this week during the iBlackCaucus Launch Day. It’s all virtual and all librarians & allies are welcome to attend. Register here to join us.
- This summer, I was one of 26 librarians selected by the Black Caucus of the American Library Association (BCALA) to represent their Breaking Barriers program at ALA’s national conference. The culmination of that effort happens this week during the iBlackCaucus Launch Day. It’s all virtual and all librarians & allies are welcome to attend. Register here to join us.
- Psalm One at Gabe’s (Friday 10/28)
- It’s not ‘all work and no play’ for this yogi! I’m ready to spend Friday night enjoying some ego-free entertainment with my husband. We’ll be checking out hip-hop lyricist, author, & activist Psalm One, live at Gabe’s in the heart of downtown Iowa City. I had the pleasure of meeting and introducing her during the Iowa City Book Festival earlier this month, so I am too hyped to see Psalm on stage. Grab your tickets here!
That’s all I got for this week, yogis! Be sure to remind your ego that they aren’t invited to the party this week. Lead with love and remember – it’s free to be kind (even when the tea is piping hot!)
See you on the mat next week!
**Don’t forget to subscribe!**
_________________________________________________________
Follow Eliza David on…
Facebook ~ Twitter ~ Instagram